Coping With Negative Feelings

         Why do I feel so empty inside? Nothing I do seems to matter. I would do anything to feel happy again...These thoughts are a source of constant pain and anguish for some of us. There seems to be a darkness that we have been unable to escape. Feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy seem to constantly haunt us.We try to escape and sometimes for brief moments we can; A crush's smile, a cute little kid or animal, the sunset, the perfect words at the right moment, a sudden burst of inspiration and many other things... Yet after a bit it wears off and we are back to where we started. Perhaps even more frustrated because we were reminded of what it was like to be happy again for a moment, only to have it stripped from us again. Now let's take a second to think about why that is. Why is it that we feel this way?
                My friend, I dare say that the source of our anguish can at it's very source be derived from the fact that we have forgotten who we are. We have allowed others to influence us into thinking who we should be. In the USA we are told from the beginning that we need to be beautiful or handsome, that we need to make lots of money and own lots of things if we are to be truly happy. Many of us give in and take drastic measures to try and alter our appearances or behaviors or desires so that we can be "accepted" by society. We become a fake version of ourselves or a copy of some presumed person that we are supposed to be.
There in lies the problem, "If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will spend its whole life believing that it is stupid." ~Albert Einstein. Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were all the same? If we all succeeded in adapting to this presumed mold that society has built for us? We are all different for a reason, forcing yourself to be something that you are not is about as smart as trying to drive a screw with a hammer, or cut a steak with a spoon. It's not that they're worthless, it's that someone is trying to get them to be something they are not. 
               Does that make sense? You are not worthless, you just need to find out why you are here and what it is that will make you at peace. So let's stop and try a little experiment, do it with me otherwise reading this was just a waste of time. Get a piece of paper and a pen, don't just open up a text document, go get a pen. Now, sit down and close your eyes for 30 seconds and try to clear your mind.
1. Now, let's think about who we really are. 
2. Ignore your status, people can become popular overnight or lose their job.
3. Forget about possessions as they come and go. 
4. Forget about your weaknesses as those can be over come. 
5. Now what are you left with, who are you?
6. Write down a sentence briefly describing that.
7. Now write down 3 things that you want to see happen more than anything else, things that you want to help come to pass before you die. For example, Visit South America to give service, become a parent, help end AIDS, stop corruption, base jump off the Statue of Liberty, save a life, to be pure in heart. It's all up to you, it's all about what you want to see come to fruition. Take as much time as you need, do not rush this.
               Now that we have this list, lets think about it. What are we doing right now to obtain anything on that list. Are we even moving towards one of them? If not we need to seriously think about what we are doing. I know that if start working towards the things that we really want in life we will find that peace and happiness we so desire. Keep that list by your bed so you can glance at it in the mornings.
               Do not settle and do not give up. You were not meant to be average or just good. You are meant to be great. You are here at this moment in time to make a difference in the world, be it in the lives of our children, our friends, our families or countries. You cannot afford to continue feeling worthless because it is of no benefit to you. You choose to fight for what you really want and you will not be disappointed. It doesn't matter what others think or what society believes you need to be. You are you, you be that. As you seek to achieve what you want in life you will find that everything else will start to fall into place. You will be happy again. 
-Brandon


 “The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.”- William James, a pioneering American psychologist and philosopher

Remember, what is portrayed is not always real.  Even the most beautiful people need to be "Photo-shopped" in order to fit in.  Do we really want to live that way?  Always trying to fit a perfect image that isn't achievable?  Wouldn't it be easier to learn how to love ourselves for who we are instead of hating ourselves for who we can't be?  This video totally changed my perspective on what beauty is.
 Dove Evolution Commercial
Remember you are beautiful the way you are! :o)

Going Beyond the Mark

“Why are Mormons so hot?”  This is the question that popped up in the suggested search bar from Google as one of our team members typed the word “why” into the search bar.  We got a good laugh out of it, but that question prompted me to start pondering on the subject.  Why would it be that people not of our faith would think that we are “hot”?  There are so many beautiful people in the world, right?  There are so many people that expose their bodies, right?  There are so many more people that would be considered “hot” in the world’s standards.  WRONG!!  Although there are many people who solicit their bodies, I believe that in terms of percentage, there are a lot fewer “hot” people than we think there are.  Why is this the case? Because the world’s perception of beauty is completely and utterly false.  The world portrays the “perfect body” to be slim, tall, and with good curves for girls, and with a broad chest and shoulders with a slim waist and toned muscles for guys.  This brings us back to the question, why would the world see Mormons as “hot” in these standards.  To answer this, we must take a look at the doctrine of our church.  We are taught to strive to be perfect, but that we will never be in this life.   We are taught to be better, to achieve more, to be more educated and always be improving.  I believe this doctrine has caused a unique inner striving of perfectionism amongst many Mormons.  We are bred to be perfectionists, always striving to be better and thus causing us to want to be better than our fellow men.  We as humans, as imperfect as we are, need to feel that we are progressing and improving by comparing ourselves to our peers and judging whether we are ahead or not.  This is completely normal.  That being said, the media feeds girls and boys the ideal of the “perfect” body and we being perfectionists, strive to achieve it even if it is not realistic.  This explains why Salt Lake City ranked number one amongst cities where women are interested in breast implants, and number eight in plastic surgeons per capita according to realself.com.  Girls and boys alike at BYU are trying to fit into that “perfect” body.  Dr. Adams, a counselor at BYU, said that he works with many girls who feel that they aren’t good enough when they come to Utah, but feel completely adequate outside of Utah.  The prophet Jacob, when speaking to the Nephites, spoke of how the Jews had a blindness which “came by looking beyond the mark” (Jacob 4:14).  The Jews, zealous of keeping the law, looked beyond the mark and took the Law of Moses so far that they completely overlooked Christ.  Christ was the mark.  Today, I believe some BYU students have looked beyond the mark in that we have changed our view of perfection to be the way we look.  While our physical appearance is important, the emphasis that we give to it puts it beyond many attributes that are much more important.  Remember that Christ is the mark and consider this scripture in Isaiah, “For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of a dry ground: he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him, there is no beauty that we should desire him” (Isaiah 53:2).  The most perfect man to every live on earth had “no beauty that we should desire him.”  Let us not look beyond the mark and make our physical appearance the aim of our perfection.  Now, I am not saying that you should never shower, put on deodorant, brush your teeth, or take care of your body, but rather not make your physical appearance too high of a priority.  Accept who you are and the way you look.  There is no such thing as a “perfect” body.  Christ was perfect, and he had no such thing.

The Beginning.

This is the beginning of "14thavenue" blog.  We (the authors) hope that you are uplifted and have more self confidence each and every time you visit us here.

Each of us is special and has qualities to be the best "self".  You choose to become a better you.  You can teach yourself to become the person who you really are instead of imitating him/her.  Be happy because of who you are and what you have become!  Look up... look up to what is even brighter and better.  That is what we ask in this blog; hence the title "Looking Up!".

We are all on a journey of growth, self discovery, and self worth.  I believe that everyone is worth more to themselves than they are to anyone else.  Look up and find it.